Thursday, February 9, 2017

A Bunch of Things Ain't Nobody Got Time For

You guys.
This week I have swept up approximately 15 kablillion cheerios off my kitchen floor. HONEY NUT cheerios. Soooo, I basically pried the cheerios off my floor. And then Ollie dumped an entire box on the floor. I spend so much time getting down with my dustpan after sweeping up billions of cheerios, I don't even want to think about it. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT!

And the other day while I was getting my hair done, I was on my phone on the Amazon app and I was just like DUH! A DUSTBUSTER!!! (you know like one of those little handheld cordless vacuums??). And one "one-touch-buy-now" later, it has arrived and MY LIFE WILL CHANGE!!!

It got me thinking, what else ain't nobody got time for?!
I spend enough energy running after two small children, I just have to eliminate time-consuming minutia that just drives me crazy, or I will quite literally lose my mind.
So. My list.
Ain't nobody got time for:

1. Sorting laundry. Before I had kids, I used to sort my laundry so intricately. By color, so: reds, greens, blues, yellows, and whites. Kind of ridiculous. I just do not have the capacity to do that anymore. With my kids, I usually throw a load of their clothes or towels in like every other day. If I had to sort them I would literally never do any laundry because the loads wouldn't be big enough to justify. Enter Shout Color Catchers. These are amazing and have saved my life. You can throw one sheet in the washer with your clothes and it absorbs any dyes that leak off your clothes, so they don't bleed into the other clothes! It is seriously genius. I've even been able to wash whites with reds and darks with NO bleeding or fading! I can wash so many more loads now without having to worry about sorting it! Score.

2. Washing kids' hands all the time. I went to the Central Park Zoo with friends one time and we all sat down for a snack and I was about to head to the bathroom to wash my kids' hands and my friend whips out this spray hand sanitizer sorcery and I was like WHAT?! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS EXISTS?!? Honest Company makes Hand Sanitizer Spray you can just spray onto yours and your kids' hands and rub in, and boom. Germ free hands. It comes in great scents like vanilla, orange and lavender too, so you're not always smelling like rubbing alcohol. This came in SUPER handy when we were at Disneyland last week. I had a bottle in my fanny pack (yeah. you read that right. a fanny pack. #iamsocool) and it made our frequent bathroom stops so much quicker, without having to lift my kids up to the sink and wash their hands and mine while trying to balance them on my knee. Spray hand sanitizer you guys. The bomb dot com.
3. Under-eye circles. I have two kids under 4. I. Am. So. Tired. I already have olive skin, so under-eye circles already show up easily on my skin tone anyway, so if I miss a minute of sleep, I am the walking dead. I am not a make-up girl. I don't like it. I'm not against it, I just hate not being able to rub my eyes or touch my face. So other than mascara and the occasional bright lip, I don't wear much makeup. I don't really wear foundation or anything like that (I'm actually trying to think right now if I even have any......nope. can't remember.). BUT. I do own Erase Paste by benefit cosmetics and with like a pinprick size of paste I just pat on with my finger, the circles are gone-zo. I have had it for like 2 months and haven't even made a dent in it. This stuff will hold me over until my kids go to college.
4. Cooking a 5 star dinner every night. I have a lot of guilt when it comes to this. Growing up, I remember my mom always making the most amazing food, and I feel guilty when I don't blow everyone away every night. I just don't have the capacity. (See above: I. Am. So. Tired) But then I thought about it and my memories of delicious dinners start when I was in grade school. When we were toddlers, and my dad was working crazy hours on Wall Street, we had small dinners with my mom that were no frills and really easy for when a mom of 4 under 4 (how in the heck do people do that?!) was so tired she could barely make toast. I've been trying to erase the guilt when we end up with spaghetti or grilled cheese or eggs for dinner. It's ok to take it easy sometimes! I have given myself a break and will sometimes just feed my family pre-prepared meals. I love Trader Joe's when it comes to this. Their frozen foods cannot be beat. Their orange chicken, chili lime burgers, turkey burgers, gnocchi, kung pao chicken, and tons of other meals can easily feed a family of 4 and I don't feel like I'm feeding my family absolute garbage.

5. Washing your hair everyday. Confession session: I hardly ever wash my hair. I have very dry skin and hair, so it doesn't get super oily, it holds a style pretty well so if I style it once, it will usually stay for several days or even a week. I just don't have the patience to blow out and style my naturally curly (read: frizzy) hair day in and day out! I can't do it! I didn't discover dry shampoo til college but it is seriously fabulous. It's kind of on the rise now, so every haircare line makes one these days, but I still stick by my original fave, Batiste Dry Shampoo. It has the best scents, it has tinted options for darker hair, and absorbs oil really well, PLUS I really like the amount of pressure in the bottle because it shoots out a pretty powerful blast of air, so it's almost like re-blowing it out. It buys me at least 2 more days of not having to wash my hair, so yay.

6. Scanning the internet for promo codes. I know this is super random, but I do a lot of shopping online and I found this app and it is crazy bananas awesome. It's called "Honey", and it installs a button in your browser (kind of like the pin-it button from pinterest), so whenever you make any kind of purchase online, it scans the entire interwebs for possible coupon or promo codes, and applies all of them automatically to your purchase. Sometimes you get multiple ones that apply, sometimes none of the ones they run apply, but it's so nice to know you're never missing a deal! PLUS they have another feature, where on certain shopping sites, like amazon, they'll put a little button next to the price that either shows you a place or seller where you can find that exact item for less, or a button that says it's the best deal you can find. It's seriously so cool, I don't know how I ever did without it.

7. Mopping floors. I'm not saying don't mop your floors, I'm not a savage! What I am saying, is you don't need to go around with a big old bucket of water anymore because I am about to change your life. I have never been a big swiffer type mop person just because I don't like having to buy new pads for it all the time. Seems wasteful. (Landfills and stuff.) So, I love Squirt & Mop by Method. I can use my own mop with a machine-washable cover (I like this one), and seriously you just squirt out the solution from the bottle over the floor, and mop it up with your mop. My absolute least favorite household chore is so much better with this stuff. They make it for multiple surfaces, I've used the wood one and the tile one and they are both great. And they smell divine, like most Method products.


8. Waiting for packages. I feel like this goes without saying, but. Get Amazon Prime.