A Bunch of Things Ain't Nobody Got Time For

You guys.
This week I have swept up approximately 15 kablillion cheerios off my kitchen floor. HONEY NUT cheerios. Soooo, I basically pried the cheerios off my floor. And then Ollie dumped an entire box on the floor. I spend so much time getting down with my dustpan after sweeping up billions of cheerios, I don't even want to think about it. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT!

And the other day while I was getting my hair done, I was on my phone on the Amazon app and I was just like DUH! A DUSTBUSTER!!! (you know like one of those little handheld cordless vacuums??). And one "one-touch-buy-now" later, it has arrived and MY LIFE WILL CHANGE!!!

It got me thinking, what else ain't nobody got time for?!
I spend enough energy running after two small children, I just have to eliminate time-consuming minutia that just drives me crazy, or I will quite literally lose my mind.
So. My list.
Ain't nobody got time for:

1. Sorting laundry. Before I had kids, I used to sort my laundry so intricately. By color, so: reds, greens, blues, yellows, and whites. Kind of ridiculous. I just do not have the capacity to do that anymore. With my kids, I usually throw a load of their clothes or towels in like every other day. If I had to sort them I would literally never do any laundry because the loads wouldn't be big enough to justify. Enter Shout Color Catchers. These are amazing and have saved my life. You can throw one sheet in the washer with your clothes and it absorbs any dyes that leak off your clothes, so they don't bleed into the other clothes! It is seriously genius. I've even been able to wash whites with reds and darks with NO bleeding or fading! I can wash so many more loads now without having to worry about sorting it! Score.

2. Washing kids' hands all the time. I went to the Central Park Zoo with friends one time and we all sat down for a snack and I was about to head to the bathroom to wash my kids' hands and my friend whips out this spray hand sanitizer sorcery and I was like WHAT?! HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS EXISTS?!? Honest Company makes Hand Sanitizer Spray you can just spray onto yours and your kids' hands and rub in, and boom. Germ free hands. It comes in great scents like vanilla, orange and lavender too, so you're not always smelling like rubbing alcohol. This came in SUPER handy when we were at Disneyland last week. I had a bottle in my fanny pack (yeah. you read that right. a fanny pack. #iamsocool) and it made our frequent bathroom stops so much quicker, without having to lift my kids up to the sink and wash their hands and mine while trying to balance them on my knee. Spray hand sanitizer you guys. The bomb dot com.

3. Under-eye circles. I have two kids under 4. I. Am. So. Tired. I already have olive skin, so under-eye circles already show up easily on my skin tone anyway, so if I miss a minute of sleep, I am the walking dead. I am not a make-up girl. I don't like it. I'm not against it, I just hate not being able to rub my eyes or touch my face. So other than mascara and the occasional bright lip, I don't wear much makeup. I don't really wear foundation or anything like that (I'm actually trying to think right now if I even have any......nope. can't remember.). BUT. I do own Erase Paste by benefit cosmetics and with like a pinprick size of paste I just pat on with my finger, the circles are gone-zo. I have had it for like 2 months and haven't even made a dent in it. This stuff will hold me over until my kids go to college.

4. Cooking a 5 star dinner every night. I have a lot of guilt when it comes to this. Growing up, I remember my mom always making the most amazing food, and I feel guilty when I don't blow everyone away every night. I just don't have the capacity. (See above: I. Am. So. Tired) But then I thought about it and my memories of delicious dinners start when I was in grade school. When we were toddlers, and my dad was working crazy hours on Wall Street, we had small dinners with my mom that were no frills and really easy for when a mom of 4 under 4 (how in the heck do people do that?!) was so tired she could barely make toast. I've been trying to erase the guilt when we end up with spaghetti or grilled cheese or eggs for dinner. It's ok to take it easy sometimes! I have given myself a break and will sometimes just feed my family pre-prepared meals. I love Trader Joe's when it comes to this. Their frozen foods cannot be beat. Their orange chicken, chili lime burgers, turkey burgers, gnocchi, kung pao chicken, and tons of other meals can easily feed a family of 4 and I don't feel like I'm feeding my family absolute garbage.

5. Washing your hair everyday. Confession session: I hardly ever wash my hair. I have very dry skin and hair, so it doesn't get super oily, it holds a style pretty well so if I style it once, it will usually stay for several days or even a week. I just don't have the patience to blow out and style my naturally curly (read: frizzy) hair day in and day out! I can't do it! I didn't discover dry shampoo til college but it is seriously fabulous. It's kind of on the rise now, so every haircare line makes one these days, but I still stick by my original fave, Batiste Dry Shampoo. It has the best scents, it has tinted options for darker hair, and absorbs oil really well, PLUS I really like the amount of pressure in the bottle because it shoots out a pretty powerful blast of air, so it's almost like re-blowing it out. It buys me at least 2 more days of not having to wash my hair, so yay.

6. Scanning the internet for promo codes. I know this is super random, but I do a lot of shopping online and I found this app and it is crazy bananas awesome. It's called "Honey", and it installs a button in your browser (kind of like the pin-it button from pinterest), so whenever you make any kind of purchase online, it scans the entire interwebs for possible coupon or promo codes, and applies all of them automatically to your purchase. Sometimes you get multiple ones that apply, sometimes none of the ones they run apply, but it's so nice to know you're never missing a deal! PLUS they have another feature, where on certain shopping sites, like amazon, they'll put a little button next to the price that either shows you a place or seller where you can find that exact item for less, or a button that says it's the best deal you can find. It's seriously so cool, I don't know how I ever did without it.


7. Mopping floors. I'm not saying don't mop your floors, I'm not a savage! What I am saying, is you don't need to go around with a big old bucket of water anymore because I am about to change your life. I have never been a big swiffer type mop person just because I don't like having to buy new pads for it all the time. Seems wasteful. (Landfills and stuff.) So, I love Squirt & Mop by Method. I can use my own mop with a machine-washable cover (I like this one), and seriously you just squirt out the solution from the bottle over the floor, and mop it up with your mop. My absolute least favorite household chore is so much better with this stuff. They make it for multiple surfaces, I've used the wood one and the tile one and they are both great. And they smell divine, like most Method products.

AND


8. Waiting for packages. I feel like this goes without saying, but. Get Amazon Prime.

you got this

You guys, sometimes I wonder if I’m doing it right. The mom thing. There are so many amazing moms in my life. And on pinterest. And blogs. And in the news. And basically everywhere. I mean we’re surrounded by moms. Good moms. And it’s so easy to see all of those moms at their best (and let’s be real, we are almost always seeing them at their best), making their own baby food, maintaining the most organized homes,  throwing adorable themed parties, using cloth diapers, buying organic snacks, and all this while looking flawless and perfectly coiffed. And I think “WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING? I AM THE WORST! I DON’T HAVE A CHORE CHART FOR MY 2 YEAR OLD! I ACCIDENTALLY PUT SUNSCREEN ON MY 5 MONTH OLD! AND MY DISPOSABLE DIAPERS ARE FILLING UP ALL THE LANDFILLS!!!”

And then the other day, I was giving my 2 year old a bath. We were laughing while I got her all soapy, and I stopped for a second, and I thought to myself “Your daughter is going to get out of this tub, cheery, clean, and warm, and then you are going to put clean, warm, appropriately fitted pajamas on her, and then you will tuck her into a bed with clean sheets with her 2 special blankets and she will be happy. You’re doing a good job.”

And another time, I was agonizing over  something else that I can’t remember right now but then I stopped and looked at my kids. My 5 month old was drinking a bottle (by himself! My heart!) and my 2 year old was eating her lunch, which consisted of a fruit, a vegetable, a grain, protein (PB for the win!) and dairy. I all of a sudden felt like a super capable adult. I thought to myself “You’re doing it right.”

And then one time I walked in on my two year old playing with her precious dinosaurs. One was falling off the couch and she had her “mommy” one saying “Oh no, sweetie. It’s going to be ok. Don’t worry sweetheart.” And I thought to myself, “She learned to talk like that from you. You’re doing so well.”

Look, none of us have it completely together. That other mom you saw at the children’s museum the other day, who had a full face of makeup and perfect hair and perfect snacks for her kids and who is being abnormally patient with her kids, I promise you: she is having a good day. You have them too. She also has bad days. You have them too.

There are some children out there who aren’t blessed with loving parents, but yours are. You’re doing something right. You’re trying. That means everything. If you’re doing all you can, if your kids know you love them, you’re doing it right.

A favorite quote of mine: "To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle—and all will—I say, “Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are.”

You really are. Keep on keepin’ on, mom. 

bloom where you're planted

written by Caity

A theme we decided to have in this blog has been "bloom where you're planted", and I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately..

I remember when we first moved to Philadelphia we had high hopes and a lot of optimism. We lived in a funky neighborhood, Brad had a cool job, we were kind of "on our own" in a new place for the first time. We were excited.

Then we got sued by a cyclist for scratching him when he ran a light and grazed our car, got our car mirror smashed in by some hellions, realized the overall filthiness of the city, were smothered by the humidity and no central air, were harassed by our landlord, and were unable to find parking on our tiny one way street. Ever. 

We lost steam really quickly. We thought living in Philly would be a type of "New York lite" experience for us. City life, but less expensive, and more car friendly. But all it did was seem to be against us all the time, and always fall short of expectations we'd had from living close to New York. We started to really dislike Philadelphia. 

The seasons changed and we were able to find a new apartment near the park to rent, with parking. We made some dear friends who raised our spirits even in the hardest times. Without the constant stress of being prisoner to parking spaces and a naggy landlord, we were suddenly able to deal with the stress of having a husband that works at a start-up. We took full advantage of living near the park and spent every spare second we could soaking it up. I regained my sanity walking through the woods in that back every single day. We gazed out our windows at the beautiful spring flowers that bloomed outside. Our attitudes and hearts changed. 

Our short time in Philadelphia was hard, but I remember rocking Bea to sleep at night, looking out the window at our beautiful trees, thinking, "Life is so good. Our life here is precious."

Philadelphia didn't change. It's still dirty, people are still prickly, it's still hard to get around. But I have only the fondest memories of living there. The first months were hard but as our attitudes changed, and we decided to bloom where we were planted, our time there was wonderful and such a sweet season of our lives. Leaving after only a year was hard. But it was a lesson to me to start sooner. To enjoy my life wherever I end up and not to wait too long to do it. Time is precious. Too precious to waste on negative feelings and wishing for the past, and the comfortable. I learned that I need to exit my comfort zone to find a new, even sweeter comfort zone, and to enjoy it while I can because it could be gone all too soon. Living in Philadelphia was not easy, but I learned such valuable lessons; it was one of the most important years of my life. I hope I can always remember to hit the ground and bloom where I'm planted as quickly as I can. Life’s too short not to.

some snapshots from one of the most enlightening springs of my life:

around the corner from our house

from my walks in the woods

all of this, RIGHT outside my kitchen window!

our beautiful philly front yard

holly jolly

You guys. It’s official. The day after Thanksgiving. I CAN FINALLY LISTEN TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC! I can finally get a Christmas tree! I can finally decorate for Christmas! I can finally drink eggnog! (I hate eggnog, but I COULD if I wanted to!!)

I have never been a Black Friday shopper. Growing up, my family didn’t really go crazy with Christmas gifts. We had some but it never looked like a toy store under the tree. We usually got a few nice gifts from mom and dad, and one BIG gift to share from “Santa.” So I have never really associated the Christmas season with shopping, presents, or sales. And I am SOOOO grateful to my parents for that. I want to keep that sensibility for all my Christmases with my kids.

Christmas hasn’t always been my favorite holiday, probably because I always thought Santa Claus was a bit silly, and I really don’t like winter, BUT the older I get, the more I love Christmas time. I’ve grown to really associate Christmas with Christ and it makes the season so enjoyable for me. We get an entire month to focus on the Savior! It’s so wonderful and such a blessing! We get to listen to and sin songs about him all day long all month long, we get to share his story to our families, we get to focus on trying to be a little kinder, a little more Christlike, and a bit more generous. We get to spend time with our families. We get to share traditions. We get to eat and share yummy food. We get to smell the wonderful smell of Christmas trees everywhere. All the while, being grateful for a Savior that has made this beautiful life all possible. It’s just so pleasant, I’m surprised I didn’t hop on the train sooner.

I love this video that my church made last Christmas about the birth of Jesus Christ. I am so glad we have a month to celebrate Him and his gift to us. Here’s to a wonderful Christmas season!

If you liked this, you're in luck, a brand new one is being released this Sunday! You can find it  <here>.

Someday: thoughts on patience and gratitude

Written by Caity

On my way to my mom's house today, I saw a panhandler out in the snow with a sign that said that he needed size 2 diapers, among other things. Luckily I had a big old wad of em in my car so I handed him all I could spare and went on my way.

I was suddenly very aware of the nice car I was driving, with the toasty heater on and the lovely warmth on my bum that only seat warmers can bring. I am grateful for my car.

I was thinking back to a time in my life when I was driving the crappy little lemon Brad brought to our marriage. It broke down all the time, got stuck in the snow, shook when it idled, had an interior that was falling apart, a dent in the door, and a lopsided headlight. It was a sight to behold. I remember rumbling around town in it, I used to think about how junky it was (it was kind of unavoidable. Everything was wrong with that car) and then smile, and think "I'll drive a nice car someday."

I realized that's been a habit of mine through the years.

Like in one of our first apartments, it was a 1 bedroom and 1 bath, with the washer and dryer in the teeny kitchen. Sometimes, when laundry littered our front room and I fumbled with all of our detergent that always fell down from the flimsy cabinet over the teeny stackable washer and dryer, I would smile and think, "I'll have a laundry room someday."

Or when we had all that awkward, lumpy, mismatched furniture in our first apartment, when you literally fell into the crevice between the back and the seat of the couch whenever you sat down. Sometimes I'd sit (read: fall) into the couch and laugh and think, "I'll have nice furniture someday."

Or when we had one tiny bathroom in our apartment in Philly and I had to wash the tub every single time we gave Bea a bath, sometimes I'd scrub it and smile and think, "We'll have another bathroom someday."

Or the times when I laid in bed at night wondering how I would make it through another day living so far from my family, I'd take a deep breath and think, "I'll live closer to them someday."

Or in all those small apartments with no closet, counter, or cabinet space, I'd pile the food anywhere I could and think "I'll have a pantry someday."

Or when Bea had potty accidents every hour of every day, I'd breathe deep and think, "She'll get the hang of it someday."

And you know what?

I have a nice car now.
I have a laundry room now. (with our very own washer and dryer that we own!)
I have some nice furniture now (can't have all nice furniture with tiny kiddos that throw up everywhere!)
We have 2 bathrooms now.
I live close to my family now.
I have a pantry now.
Bea has almost no accidents anymore.

And I'm that much more grateful for them now.

A lot of people will tell you that wishing for the future keeps you from living happily in the "now" but I don't think that's always true.
I feel like my little "someday" sentiments were moments to be grateful for what I had, and encouraging reminders to be patient, that someday there would be something even better.
I didn't always bemoan those moments where life's little frustrations got me down. Sometimes, I was able to cheerfully smile, and power through them, reminding myself to be grateful that at least I had a car, a washer and dryer, functional furniture, an apartment, smartphones to call my family with and that I only had to buy diapers for one kid. And that one day things will be even better.

By no means have I "arrived" in life yet. (does anyone really?) Things aren't perfect. I think I'll always have those "somedays" to keep me grounded and grateful.

Right now, I'm grateful for a cozy house to rent. Someday I'll own my own house to (finally) decorate how I want.
Right now, I'm grateful for my awesome swagger wagon. Someday, I'll fix that scratch I put in the passenger door :(
Right now, I'm grateful for two small kiddos to love. Someday, they'll stop throwing up all the time and be easier to take care of and take out and about.
Right now, I'm grateful that I healthily carried a baby to term in my belly. Someday, I'll lose all the baby weight.

And when those right nows are used to be's, I hope I'll chuckle and look back on the smiles I had thinking, "Someday..."

minimizing mean girl-ery

I was standing in line at h&m the other day behind a group of 4 teenage girls. 2 of the girls shared a secret with one another and deliberately, emphatically left out one of the other girls. I think her name was carly or something. The other girl ambivalently kind of ignored them, while the girl who i can only assume was carly looked wounded for an instant, then brushed it off and giggled nervously, as if she was in on this "exclude carly" thing like it was some kind of joke. except it wasn't a joke. It was the age old game of girls being mean to other girls, for what seems to be no reason.

The middle-aged woman behind me in the line and i looked at each other, when i said {probably a little too loudly} "ugh. i hated being teenager. girls are so mean." ambivalent girl looked at me, gave me a passive look, and followed the other three out of the store for what would probably be a very calculated and unpleasant afternoon.

what i told the woman in line was only half true. i'd said it to make a point in the only way i knew how. yes, girls are so mean. but i didn't hate being a teenager, because i was blessed with probably the only nice teenage girls on the planet for my friends. {with the exception of one girl who seemed to believe it was her life's work and purpose to make me feel terrible about myself}, my high school years were virtually mean girl free. but one mean girl was enough for me to know how they work, and how to let it not affect me or my self-worth.

i feel like with all the buzz lately on "bullying" and "cyber-bullying" {ugh i hate the prefix 'cyber' and the word 'bullying'}, a lot of us are overlooking the everyday meanness that happens in real life.

i want to get something straight. bullying isn't the same as girls just being mean. at least not in my book.
in the dictionary, a bully is defined as {and i quote:} a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
i think that most mean girls are just regular girls who at one time or another {however often} sacrifice the feelings of one for acceptance from the whole. this doesn't make them serial bullies. {usually}. it makes them insecure individuals trying to find their place in the world. it makes them teenagers. a girl isn't a bully because she makes mistakes. the problem arises when several girls are making the same mistakes, in the same place, all at once.

i think once a standard of mocking and malicious teasing is set, girls think they have to follow suit in order to stay alive. one girl makes a mean joke and everyone laughs along at the target's expense, in order to avoid becoming the next target. the cycle is then perpetuated when girls continue to avoid being the target by creating new targets by being even meaner. and then the cycle becomes impossible to break. i've decided just now to call this "the cycle of mean." what these girls don't realize is that they don't need to belittle some girls in order for other girls to like them. most girls are more impressed by kindness than anything else. well, the girls worth being friends with anyway.

when i was pregnant with bea, i was thrilled to discover i was having a girl, but at the same time i dreaded that day when she would have her first taste of mean girl-ery. while i managed to escape adolescence mostly unscathed, i fell witness to some nasty antics performed at the expense of my little sister. i know how awful it can be. i've tried to pull from my memory the methods employed in my own experience and my experiences with my friends to minimize the mean in our lives and i have some thoughts and i guess what i would consider tips...? {i don't consider myself a sage or anything so i'm not sure if i'm qualified to tip, but. anyway.} i'll be sharing these with bea when she enters the world of little girls.

refuse to be manipulated
i feel like this is the number one tip to avoid mean girl-ery. when i was in preschool, i came home one day almost in tears and explained to my mother that some girl i was friends with {whom i no longer remember} had decided and told me, completely out of the blue, that she no longer wanted to "be my friend anymore", as preschool girls do. my mom offered me the best advice she's ever given me that day. she said something along the lines of, "Caity, whenever someone tells you they don't want to be your friend anymore, they usually don't mean it. Just say 'Ok! come find me when we can be friends again!' and then just go play with someone else." the rest is pretty much history. i avoided 100% of elementary school drama this way. i realize, this is preschool level advice. but the principle of refusing to be manipulated is timeless. if a girl is messing with you, don't allow it to affect you. not only does refusing to let others have power over you empower you, it lessens the influence of the perpetrator on others, thus limiting the cycle of mean. when a manipulator feels powerless, they eventually lose their will to manipulate.

refuse to reinforce mean activity
i would say this is even more effective than actually speaking up and challenging an offender. when  meanness is fueled by laughter or affirmation from others, the cycle is perpetuated. when meanness is greeted by wide-eyes and cricket-chirps, it not only halts the momentum of mean, but it embarrasses the aggressor. and if there is one thing teenage/tweenage girls can't stand, it's embarrassment. if, in that moment where laughter and encouragement for bad behavior normally take place, the offender is greeted with silence, they {if they have a conscience} will have a moment to be ashamed of having been mean, and they will think twice before doing it again. i've seen it happen. the less of a reaction the meanies get, the less they perform. no one likes to perform for a dud audience.

refuse to instigate
i know this is totally obvious but when caught in the moment, it can be very easy to let the mean slip out. don't let it. nothing you will ever say is funny or clever enough to merit hurting someone else's feelings. 

i hope i can drill these principles into bea's head before she starts school. i hope every mother of every girl can instill similar ideas into their girls' heads someday. there's a quote by one of the leaders of my church that says: "When it comes to hating, gossiping, ignoring, ridiculing, holding grudges, or wanting to cause harm, please apply the following: Stop it!" one day, hopefully our girls can be part of the movement that says "stop it!" to the mean girls.